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Jennifer Lush experiences a Friday night with a twist at the ‘Misfit Toys’ show of burlesque club 34b.

It’s a few hours before the performance starts and I’m sitting at work thinking about what my mother would say if she knew where I was going tonight.

My mother is the conservative type. A good clean movie and a spot of dinner is her idea of entertainment, which is why I’m probably right in thinking that a burlesque performance filled with tease and tassels is likely to ruffle a few feathers – and not just figuratively.

To be honest I’m not so sure it will be my idea of entertainment, so I drag a friend along for moral support.

Told to dress up for the ‘Misfit Toy’ theme, we wear polka dot tops and feather boas wrapped around our necks (what would a burlesque show be without them?!)

Standing in the queue I look around to find that we’re underdressed.  Lego men, G.I. Joes (and Janes), and Chinese dolls file past me.

I follow the crowd up three flights of stairs and step through a fire exit door into the tiny bar that is the club 34b.

“Old school” is the phrase that springs to mind. From the original Ray Charles and Shirley Temple tunes, to the little heart-shaped, sherbet candy with messages like ‘he loves you’ and ‘always and forever’ that decorate the place. 

Everyone’s chatting excitedly, anticipating a good show. I’m just anticipating…

The lights dim and there’s dead silence. (Bar the drunken woman to my left, who has taken a tumble and spilt what remains of her sangria down my new cream boots.)

A ballerina-like figure slinks from the corner of the stage into the spotlight.

Gypsy Germaine, carefully veils her porcelain skin with two pink feather fans and her strategically placed long brunette locks.

Her hands float above her head to reveal her tiny waist and tassel covered breasts. But nobody’s really looking at them. We all knew there wasn’t going to be much under those feathers and the real fun came from not knowing when she was going to move them. The tease.

Despite the fact she is clad in little more than a diamonte thong, there is an element of class to the performance – and control – in the way she seems to have the entire crowd mesmerized, clutching their glasses fiercely.

I’m so absorbed in her movement with the feathers that the thought of her perfect, cellulite-free thighs and unblemished skin doesn’t cross my mind until after she’s left the stage.

Of course now I’m expecting every performer to be a size 6 model and am rather surprised to find that the next act, Danger Money, shares my shapelier figure – even sporting a pair of love handles.

Not to say that she’s lacking in sex appeal. With her trench coat and black, arm-length gloves – seductively plucked off with her teeth, one finger at a time – she’s oozing it.

Realistic bodies that have a bit of jiggle in them are apparently more common in burlesque performances than I’d thought.

“Our bodies aren't what people would say are perfect, so a lot of people can relate to us and enjoy what we do,” says Miss Brandy Alexander, a member of the six-member Melbourne-based, Hi Ball. “If we were just six models, it would be a bit boring. When people see us, they feel they can join in, because we're just like them.”

Well, by this point at the show, everyone is most definitely joining in!

A few hoots and hollers later and the oversized panda (toys theme, remember) who is emceeing the night is back on the stage, building up the audience for the headline act, Lola the Vamp.

Unlike the other girls, I’ve done a bit of research on Lola and know she’s doing a PhD, part of which focuses on burlesque. This automatically commands some level of respect in my mind, and seems to make her performance about more than just taking her clothes off.

Speaking with Lola after, I find out that I’d completely muddled up her priorities: “Some girls strip to put themselves through uni. I did a PhD to get my start in burlesque!” she says.

Dressed as a doll with a wig of blonde ringlets and white ballet slippers laced up her calves, she slowly strips off her layers till she’s down to her pasties (stick-on nipple covers with tassels), thong and doing the splits.

I’m still a bit confused. It’s not that I’m offended by what she’s doing but I’ve always assumed that a well educated self-proclaimed feminist was supposed to be against this sort of thing?

Obviously faced with this question before, Lola says such beliefs are part of a ‘pop-culture’ type of feminism: “[Burlesque] is no longer just about women being viewed as sex objects. Burlesque is more about making fun of ideas about half-naked girls as victims. It has a good sense of irony and comedy and it’s very cheeky.”

This can’t be too far from the truth. I look around me and the scales seem to be tipping in favour of a dominant female presence. Lola, too, has noticed this, and though she can’t pinpoint a reason why, she takes a guess:

“Women love to perve? I've always liked looking at the female body. It's the greatest emblem of western art- from Boticelli to Norman Lindsay!”

Miss Lola Cherry Cola, a member of the burlesque troupe, Man’s Ruin, agrees that despite all the arguments for and against this ‘conscious objectification’ of the female body, that perhaps the reason women watch isn’t really that deep:

“I think it's better not to infuse [burlesque] with too much politics. As a society we're not as repressed as we used to be and it takes a lot more to say something than just exposing your breasts. I think, nowadays, guys and girls that come to see burlesque want to be entertained, have a giggle and see a good set of boobs,” she says.

So why now? What has prompted this sudden revived interest in the naughty but nice striptease? “Sexiness and fun is never out of fashion as far as I am concerned!” says Lola the Vamp. “And burlesque showgirls can certainly give you those two things.”

Well, it was unquestionably both sexy and fun, but I think the biggest pull was the sense of scandal.

Telling people on Monday morning that I’d spent my weekend watching a naked woman bathing in an over-sized champagne glass raised an eyebrow to say the least.

Sugartime is currently touring the USA, but returns to Sydney @ 34b (above The Exchange on Oxford Street) in October.

Photos by Jenny Lush. (Top to bottom: Rachel St. James and Lola the Vamp)